There is no right or wrong length of time to grieve. Because the process is painful, grieving people often want to know what to ‘do’ to make it better. Unfortunately, there is no quick fix. Some people can feel they are adjusting after a few weeks. For others, it may be a few years before they feel they have a handle on life without the deceased. The important thing is to be kind to yourself, to be patient and gentle when you are having a ‘down’ day, and to enjoy it when you have a ‘good’ day. Because it is a very up-and-down process, having a day when you feel upset or anxious might feel like a step backwards in your journey through grief. Remember that it isn’t; it is simply adjusting and coming to terms with this new stage of life. We all respond differently to grief, and each person’s grief will follow its own path. It can be easy to compare yourself to other people who have been bereaved and feel they are coping better than you, but remember that we are all different and that they might be putting on a brave face for the outside world, just as you may feel you have to. Be gentle with yourself, and just try to take things one day at a time.
